This past weekend I painted our bathroom. It's amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do to a room...and to my spirit.
It's a tiny room. I thought I could get it finished while my little ones were napping, but it turned into a much bigger project than I had expected.
The painted trim was peeling so I had to start with sanding. We wanted to remove the towel bar, which left 4 large holes in the wall. There were spots to patch and more sanding. I started cutting in with a brush, but the room is too small for a ladder; so I stood on the counter top, then took a lunge of faith to the opposite wall. As I reached across the room, my legs burning, I tried to keep a steady hand as I painted the line beneath the ceiling. I was suspended in mid-air on only my fingertips and tip toes. My 5 year old walking in was very impressed with my spiderman skills.
Then I needed to contort myself into awkward angles to try and paint behind the toilet, wondering if anyone would really notice if I didn't.
About halfway through, a bit of panic set in. Is this color too dark? Did I make the right choice?
Change is hard.
The fears I am trying to conquer.
The hurts I want to let go of.
The bad habits I am trying to break.
It's all hard. But maybe those days when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere, maybe that's all part of the prep work. Those days when I'm filled with doubt and wonder if I made the right choice...I need to remember that change is hard.
It's easier to hold on to the familiar, even the ugly, stained walls. It's easier to hold on to my ugly because change takes time and energy, it stretches me and sometimes puts me in awkward positions. Change is hard...but it's beautiful.
Every time I walk into that bathroom I smile. I love the beautiful coffee and cream color of the walls, I love the fresh feeling in that space, and I remember all the work it took to get there.
I know that I am going to get there too.
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." ~Philippians 1:6