At my last ultrasound we learned that we are having another baby boy!
Afterwards, we were blessed to be able to make a date of it. As we sat down over dinner, we discussed baby names and bedroom arrangements. And then I stopped. I took a deep breath and asked my husband, "Am I really a mom of 4 boys?"
It wasn't that I was unhappy or disappointed at all, I just wondered if I was really cut out for all this.
I thought of all the moms of many boys that I knew and they all seemed so much better at this than me. My mother-in-law had 4 boys herself and she is the most patient woman I know. I've failed at that one.
Then there are the moms who are OK with pet snakes and spiders in the house. The moms who join right into the burping contests and football games. And the ones who run their crew like a drill sergent.
And then there's me...
I'm petite and girly. I don't think my presence commands authority. I don't deal well with bugs and snakes and other critters, and I really can't handle blood.
I think there's a good reason why we can't choose the gender of our children. We tend to see things just in the moment. God sees our lives and the generations to come.
This season of my life will be full of dirt and scrapped knees and finding rocks in my dryer. But it's also an incredible honor. God has given us a house full of boys to raise into men of integrity. He has given us a holy responsibility to teach them to have hearts of compassion and respect. To be hard working and gentle. To be protectors and warriors.
Am I ready for this? Probably not, but God has chosen this path for me and I know that He will prepare me for the journey.
Raising boys is an adventure but it is also full of the sweetest moments. There is nothing more comforting than hugs from my little boys, hearing "I wuv you Mommy!", and seeing a vase full of fresh-picked dandelions on my windowsill.
One day my mama's boys will be men and I will miss these busy days. Today I am so thankful that God chose this adventure for my life.