Friday, February 25, 2011
As he left for work I was still fuming. I looked over at our 8 year old toaster, that only toasts half the bread and makes a loud squealing sound to tell you your half-toasted bread is ready. "I'm the most un-materialistic person I know!".
This all started because I mentioned that I really want to paint the house. We were in a hurry to move in and had agreed to wait to paint until we had more time and our budget allowed. We've lived here 2 months and already my hallway is lined with little fingerprints. There are crayon marks on my dining room wall, and no matter how much I scrub, I can't get the stains off of this ugly, flat white paint.
I don't think I am being discontent. The walls are dirty and it's embarrassing.
Hmmm...embarrassing why? Because someone might come over and think I'm a bad homemaker? Because my stuff defines me? Ouch.
"But I never buy anything for me!"; I reasoned with my conscience.
The truth is I would feel guilty spending money on a new toaster when my kids need new shoes. Or on paint for the house when our daughter needs a new bed and is sleeping on a mattress on the floor.
Contentment is not being a martyr. Contentment is not being cheap. Contentment is having a thankful heart.
Is painting your house or buying small kitchen appliances a sin? Of course not. But having a coveting and discontent spirit is. (Exodus 20:17)
My husband said he was only joking, but I think there was a lot of truth to what he said. He sees my heart more than anyone. His comment forced me to do a lot of soul searching and I didn't like what I saw.
I am overwhelmed with God's blessings every time we drive past our first home. That sweet, little cottage that could literally fit in the kitchen I have now. And in that tiny cottage with it's one foot of counter space sat this same ugly toaster.
Thank you Jesus for these walls that keep us warm
And for all these messy little children who make it feel like home.
Thank you Jesus for the bread we have to eat
And for this ugly toaster that sometimes toasts but always squeaks.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13