Afterwards, we were blessed to be able to make a date of it. As we sat down over dinner, we discussed baby names and bedroom arrangements. And then I stopped. I took a deep breath and asked my husband, "Am I really a mom of 4 boys?"
It wasn't that I was unhappy or disappointed at all, I just wondered if I was really cut out for all this.
I thought of all the moms of many boys that I knew and they all seemed so much better at this than me. My mother-in-law had 4 boys herself and she is the most patient woman I know. I've failed at that one.
Then there are the moms who are OK with pet snakes and spiders in the house. The moms who join right into the burping contests and football games. And the ones who run their crew like a drill sergent.
And then there's me...
I'm petite and girly. I don't think my presence commands authority. I don't deal well with bugs and snakes and other critters, and I really can't handle blood.
I think there's a good reason why we can't choose the gender of our children. We tend to see things just in the moment. God sees our lives and the generations to come.
This season of my life will be full of dirt and scrapped knees and finding rocks in my dryer. But it's also an incredible honor. God has given us a house full of boys to raise into men of integrity. He has given us a holy responsibility to teach them to have hearts of compassion and respect. To be hard working and gentle. To be protectors and warriors.
Am I ready for this? Probably not, but God has chosen this path for me and I know that He will prepare me for the journey.
Raising boys is an adventure but it is also full of the sweetest moments. There is nothing more comforting than hugs from my little boys, hearing "I wuv you Mommy!", and seeing a vase full of fresh-picked dandelions on my windowsill.
One day my mama's boys will be men and I will miss these busy days. Today I am so thankful that God chose this adventure for my life.
Thank you so much for these encouraging thoughts - that God has the bigger perspective in mind, that one day our sweet little boys will be men, and to cherish these busy days that God has given.
ReplyDeleteCrystal - Always remember this: "God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called!" :) I have 2 boys myself. I never thought I'd have boys because I also am very girly. I thought my sister would get them. But can I tell ya? My boys are the best. Yes, there are snakes and worms and dirt and rocks in my dryer (hehe) but there are also hand picked flowers on my kitchen window sill and I wuv you Mommy's etc as well. I think that little boys make the best Mommy lovers. And you're right, what a privilege to raise men for Jesus. I feel so lucky and so blessed. As are you! :) Congrats on your new little boy. You are a wonderful Mommy... XO
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is our hope to have a bunch of boys as well. We love our girls, but one each is perfect, and the rest a passel (sp?) of wild and crazy, rough and tumble, giant and gentle boys would be great for us. Of course that's OUR opinion...who knows if God agrees! :) Anywho...just so jazzed for you. Enjoy those little beebee toesers.
ReplyDeleteThis picture makes me smile! I love the giant smiles!
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